When people talk about tricky in-laws, they usually mean the kind who meddle in subtle ways, like folding your laundry without asking or suggesting a “better” way to season potatoes. My mother-in-law, Margot, was in an entirely different league. She didn’t meddle, she schemed.
The very first time we met, she clasped my hand, smiled with unnerving brightness, and said, “You have such a… serviceable look. Perfect for someone like Henrik, he always needed a grounding influence.” I told myself I had misheard. I hadn’t. That was just the beginning.
Over the years, Margot perfected the art of the sly insult dressed up as kindness. She “helped” me by altering recipes in my own kitchen, brought extra dishes to family dinners I had already prepared, and corrected me in front of guests as though she were teaching a class. Henrik insisted it was affection. To me, it was warfare waged with a porcelain teacup and a tight smile.
This brings us to the first Thanksgiving in our new home outside Copenhagen. Henrik and I had worked hard to afford it, and I was determined to host a holiday that felt warm, polished, and entirely ours. The table was set with linen napkins, I had practiced my pie crusts for weeks, and the scent of roasted turkey filled the air. Even my famously difficult Aunt Beatrice sampled a spoonful of stuffing and muttered, “Not dreadful,” which in her language was high praise.
For a moment, I thought I might survive this holiday intact. Then Margot arrived.
Her arrival was impossible to miss. The crunch of her boots on the gravel drive sounded like a drumroll. She flung open the door without knocking and swept inside, holding a gleaming silver tray covered with foil as though she were unveiling the crown jewels.
“Good evening, darlings!” she declared. “I thought I’d rescue the day with a turkey of my own. One can never be too careful.”
A second turkey. The one I had nurtured for hours suddenly seemed like an audition piece she was waiting to critique.
“That’s very generous,” I said, forcing a smile that felt like it might crack my jaw.
She kissed Henrik’s cheek, ignored the tension in the air, and marched straight into the kitchen. “Where’s the carving set? I brought my own sharpener in case yours isn’t sufficient.”
I caught Henrik’s eye. He tried for a soothing look but only managed the expression of a man stuck between two fires. Traitor, I thought.
The evening actually began well enough. The food was praised, my pie was admired, and conversation flowed easily. For a brief time, Margot sipped her wine in near silence, watching everything like a general surveying her troops. But peace was not her style.
She stood suddenly, glass raised. “Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to present my pièce de résistance.” She whisked away the foil from her turkey.
What lay beneath made me freeze mid-breath.
Pinned neatly to the golden-brown breast was a laminated photograph of my face, grinning awkwardly as if I had volunteered for this grotesque display.
Gasps ricocheted around the table. Beatrice sputtered into her wine. Henrik’s young cousin guffawed without restraint. Margot beamed like a cat who had cornered a mouse. “It seemed appropriate,” she announced. “Since Elise has been such a turkey this year!”
The room hung in a strange silence, caught between discomfort and amusement. Heat rushed to my cheeks. She had managed to humiliate me in front of everyone, in my own house, on my own holiday.
But this time, I refused to let her walk away victorious.
I stood, lifted my phone, and took a bright, sharp photo of her handiwork. “Marvelous,” I said sweetly. “This deserves a wider audience. Everyone should see your brilliance.”
Margot blinked, momentarily unsettled. “It was only a small joke.”
“Genius often is,” I replied.
That night, once the house was quiet, I poured myself a glass of wine and opened my laptop. If Margot wanted attention, she would have it.
I created a playful event on Facebook: “Margot’s Bespoke Holiday Turkeys.” I uploaded the photo of her grinning behind the bird adorned with my face. The caption read: “Looking for a centerpiece that truly makes a statement? Book a Margot special: turkey with a personalized portrait. Perfect for weddings, divorces, office parties!”
The reactions were immediate. Friends and acquaintances left comments like:
“Margot, this is wild. Could you put my boss’s face on a ham?”
“Inspired! Can you do vegetarian options?”
“Is this for charity or performance art?”
By morning, her phone was overwhelmed. Requests poured in from people she barely knew, each more ridiculous than the last. One man wanted his ex-wife’s photo skewered to a goose. A local blogger shared the post, dubbing her “the Picasso of poultry.”
At ten sharp, Margot stormed into our house, cheeks blazing. “Elise! How dare you! People think I’ve lost my mind. Someone even asked for a chicken with their cat’s face!”
I sipped my coffee calmly. “Well, you did want to share your creativity. I just helped you find an audience.”
Henrik, standing by the door, finally spoke. “Mother, you humiliated her first. You’re lucky she didn’t turn it into a news story.”
Margot sputtered, glared at us both, and left in a huff. For weeks afterward, she was known around town as “the turkey lady.” Invitations dwindled. Her reign of petty sabotage quieted, though she never admitted defeat.
As for me, every Thanksgiving since has carried a mischievous glow. Whenever I see that photo in my camera roll, I remember the lesson: sometimes the sweetest revenge is to let someone’s own cruelty shine so brightly the whole world can see it.