Sean, 36, wrote to us. His letter is full of despair and emotion. In fact, he destroyed his family’s happiness when he ch:e:ated on his wife. Over time, she seemed to forgive him, but the reality was much worse.

Sean had a short-term aff:air and confessed about this to his wife.

My wife Rosa and I have been happily married for 15 years now. We’ve been through many life situations together, and we’ve always found the way out together. We’ve been more than spouses all this time, we’ve been kindred spirits and our marriage has been based upon trust and mutual understanding. We never lied to each other and never chea:t:ed. But recently, things took an opposite turn and our family is now falling apart with a speed of light.

I know I did something really awful and disgusting, I chea:t:ed on my wife with a client of mine. I don’t really know why I did all this, my body felt like it was on autopilot, and after a short time I couldn’t take the guilt anymore. I immediately cut off my affa:ir partner. I ended my relationship with her as a client, too, and passed her contract to a coworker. I have had no contact with her ever since. I also confessed about this to my wife, and I’ve been doing individual therapy since then, too.

Sean expected a very emotional reaction from his wife and was partly prepared for it.

At first, my wife got really upset and depressed, she was absolutely angry. I was seriously worried about her mental state. I did expect some big drama, but I’ve never seen her so depressed before. I begged her not to divorce me.

I proposed some counseling, therapy, and even allowing her to have relationships with other men, but she wasn’t interested. She just asked me to leave her alone and give her more time to cope with the pain on her own. She insisted that I must move out and wait until she calls me with her suggestions about our future life together.

I picked my things and left to live at my parents’. I called her every day, and she sounded broken and frustrated, I could hear it in her voice that she was totally hurt, and I could understand this. She refused any help from me and only kept telling me that she needed more space, which I allowed her to have.

One day, the behavior of Sean’s wife totally changed.