Parents in mixed families frequently disagree on how to manage their children. Colleen’s husband continues to financially support his 19-year-old daughter, who is pregnant and a mother of two. Meanwhile, Colleen believes her stepdaughter should not be coddled and must learn to accept responsibility for her acts. This conflict of parenting approaches resulted in a disastrous incident, which Colleen has shared with us.

Here is Colleen’s letter:

My husband’s 19-year-old daughter has two kids by different men and is pregnant again. She expects her dad to bankroll her life. I said, “If you can’t discipline her, I will!” So, I drained all the money in our shared savings account and bought a flat behind his back to stop him from helping her.

This way, he wouldn’t be able to waste another penny on her. I was confident we wouldn’t need that money, as our salaries could easily cover our monthly expenses as a couple.

A few days later, I walked into our bedroom and froze. My clothes were packed in boxes. My husband had left a note beside them that read, “If you’re so determined to make decisions on your own, then you can live on your own too-in the new flat you bought!”

Later that day, I received a horrific call from my stepdaughter. She said, “You can’t expect my dad to turn his back on his only daughter!” and then she hung up. I am shattered. I did this to protect both our interests from his exploitative daughter, and I don’t deserve to be treated this way.

It’s been a few days, and I haven’t moved out, but he refuses to talk to me. Can you please advise me?