I never thought that at 51, I would fall in love. I had no idea that the man I was sleeping with and dating was actually the 33-year-old son of my closest friend. Was this all just the start of a tragic error?

Was Thursday the date? On a Friday? I’m not sure. I can’t recall. Not that it matters in the life of a lonely fifty-one-year-old, such as myself, how many days there are in a week.

What I do recall, though, is that I was in a cafe that day. I was using my laptop to write on something, maybe a report, when two people entered and took seats at the table across from me. They were a young couple in love, holding hands and giggling.

They were seated so close to one another that the wind would have to stop in order for them to move aside and let it through. I averted my gaze. Their intimacy, their affection, and how much they were into each other was something I could not stand.

Hi, my name is Lesley, and this is my narrative. An account of a lonely 51-year-old woman who slept with her best friend’s son fell in love against her will, and couldn’t resist the man who brought back her smile after all these years.

I was by myself. I had been for a good number of years. My life was devoid of affection following my divorce. Josh, my ex-husband, wed a younger lady since I was unable to bear children, but she was able to.

I don’t know why, but I had a strong sense of regret, jealousy, and melancholy when I saw the couple in the cafe that day. I stood up and left.

Is that how Josh hands his new bride? Did they meet like that behind my back? within a café? Or, even worse, did they share a bed behind my back when I wasn’t home?

That’s what my brain told me, no. Lesley, you just can’t trust a stranger!
I sobbed while I sat in my car. Like when Josh informed me he wanted a divorce because I couldn’t have kids, I sobbed. I was feeling lonely and depressed. I pulled out my phone and gave Jennifer, my closest friend, a call.

Dear God, Les! Tell me it’s not about Josh, please! She sobbed. “Look, sweetie, you need to move on from that guy! Les, he betrayed you. And you’re still in tears over him?

Still crying, I firmly answered, “Jen, I’m not crying FOR him.” “I feel so bad about myself. I simply feel like such an inadequate woman.

Then, darling, go find someone for yourself. You’ll discover that the world is filled of trashy lovers just like your ex if you go out and meet men. Sorry, Les, but I don’t believe a man can make things right in your life.

“So what should I do now? Perish by yourself? Jen, look at what I’ve become. I just work, lie in bed, and drink wine when I’m depressed and alone. I never thought my life would become so miserable!

“Well, then, sweetie, what did you anticipate? Hey, Les, would you mind dropping by so we can discuss? I could prepare a meal for you.

“NO!” I let out a cry into the phone. “I’m OK without everyone! Nobody! Have you heard me? Just let me pass away by myself!

“Jen, I’m 51, and women my age don’t fall in love; they raise grandchildren.”

Is that my expectation of her? When I see those around me thriving, does she understand how I feel? I pondered.

When I observed everybody around me grinning and having fun, I felt trapped and smothered. All I had done since the divorce was weep. I was afraid, but I wanted to feel loved.

Did I have the strength to bear another heartbreak?

A few days later, I missed my bus since I always leave work late. My phone died, so I was unable to contact an Uber, so I chose to wait for the next one.

“May I be of any assistance to you?” I looked up from my book when I heard a low voice and saw a man with his window down in his automobile.

“Me?” I inquired.

He grinned. “It looks like nobody else is here! Where can I drop you off?

That’s what my brain told me, no. Lesley, you just can’t trust a stranger!

“No, I’m okay,” I replied. “I’m holding out for the bus.” Regards.

“It’s growing chilly and darker. There won’t be a bus for 20 minutes. Are you certain you wish to hold off?

I have no idea why I didn’t refuse him. “I want to see your ID,” I enquired. “That kind of stranger is someone I can’t trust.”